Coffee

I find that I am addicted to coffee in some sense. Bad things. I don't really drink coffee to keep active but just because I would like to have a cup. Whether coffee is bad for one's health or not. There's not definitely answer. But I think so. However, I just can not help myself to have a cup. I get used to drink coffee some time ago when I did need it to keep active. And then I found that I am getting addicted to it. Anyway I only have a cup now and then not much. So it is OK. ^_^

Deep into thought, I find a pattern. At first, I used to drink water, a lot of water every day. Because at my hometown the spring is sugariness. Later, I changed to green tea. A lot of tea every day not matter it is summer or winter. The change is driven by the need to alleviate the savor of tap water at first . Because I don't used to tap water at that time and tea can cover the savor of tap water. The other reason is my father likes to drink tea very much and I followed him. However, my stomach rang a bell since I drunk too much. After that, I cut down the amount though still like tea very much. I'd like to sip and taste tea though I am a layman.

Now it is coffee. The savor is delicious. I know there are many kinds of coffee. I have no idea what're the differences and how makes them different now. May be I will figure out someday. I just like the smell of coffee bean. (May be it is because of the cocaine in the coffee bean.) However, sometimes I feel that my heart beats faster than normal after a cup of coffee. So it'd better I don't have it too often.

Just finished a cup of coffee. It is time to study. Cheers!
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Counting Down

Time flies! The day I go back home is in the corner though I haven't booked a ticket yet.

Every time I chat with friends, they always ask when I will come back. I am sure, probably late July after finishing my thesis and get the degree here. That's it.

Sincerely, after deciding not to pursue a Ph.D, I did consider to establish my career here. Being rational, it is more opportunities here though more challenging. To most persons, start a career here is better than go back to Xiamen. Form economic point of view, that is true. But human is human. Human can not be rational all the time they are at most partial rational that's what we have learned. To me, credit is critical to a person. I know how much my parents would like me to stay here. But I realize that we have an oral contract with Xiamen University. We have to go back to finishing the other degree. I always tell them that we have to go back. They try to persuade me to seek for a employment right here. I don't like to expect too much on that, they will be disappointed when I give up. They try to persuade me to actively seek for a job. But it is really tiresome to apply for a job, CV cover letter. I hate it. However, I did send out some CVs but only for the positions I like it. Anyway, I have to start a career soon, not matter whether I will go back to China or not. Sadly, what I got are only reject letters. Never mind, and I am not really care about it because I don't expect much when I send out an application.

It is coming to the end of this join degree program, WISE would like us to go back and has sent out notice to us. Prof. Cai met us yesterday. It can not be clear any more, we have to go back otherwise it will be a lose-lose strategy. It is not a headache to me though do have a little disappointment. But just a little. I always believe that when God closes one door he will open the other one. It is nothing to worry about. But I have to figure out what I want and how I can achieve it. A simple and complicate question. To be successful! True. But how to define success? Everyone has different points of view. A desert to a person may be a poison to the other. I will be more clear about what I really want after I try. A saying that “The man who tries to do something and fails is infinitely better than he who tries to do nothing and succeeds.” Keep in mind never regret after making the choice.

I was so exciting yesterday though we have taught a lesson. May be I am sure I will go back home very soon. I will meet my dear parents my grandma though we have video chat now and then. I am so fond of home.

Keep positive. It is your attitude not your aptitude determines your altitude.

Wonderful weekend ahead!
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Love for Running

“Yaru, let's go to the gym.” said ABC.
"OK. Let's go."
Last Wed. we went to the gym as usual. I like it. I like running. However, it seems boring to me at first. I still remember that when I was a freshman, I took part in students' sport meeting. And I was required to do some training everyday, I either had yo get up early or had to rush for the evening class coz of the training. I was sick of that. We slacked off when the supervisors were away. Pewon like running and she used to get up early and run for half an hour at the schoolyard. I asked her," is it boring just running?"

"No. When I was running I feel free in my mind and I can think whatever I like. I enjoy it."

"Hard to understand."

However, three years later, after I got the offer for my master. I thought that I was at grass and decided to keep fitness by do regular running and I did. Gradually, I fond of running.

Early in the morning, there're few people around. Beautiful sky, sweet chirm, fresh air. Relax after 15 mins running. And I started to thinking during running. About life, past, now, future....

Then I thought of the sentence from PE Prof. "Run to the happy paradise. "

Coming back. We went to gym and got prepared. I set up the mechine to the mode Random and time 30 mins. I hadn't been to gym for a few days since busy preparing for my thesis oral exam. I felt a little hard after 15 mins, then I told myself 'Never give up.' I thought of that Reddy had told a story about 'never give up'. 'Never, never, never give up.' was the end of his speech. I should never give up. "give up" should be away from the world, why people invented this world? Time went on. I was getting tired and kept to talked to myself I can do that. I would enjoy more if I do. 30 seconds left. I closed my eye and started to count down,'1, 2, 3, .... '(ps: I tend to count from 1.) All of a sudden, 'bing...' I opened my eye and found that I was at the edgy of the panel and I was out of balance and fell down. I quickly got up and tried to stop the mechine. I pushed the stop button and steped on the panel. To my surpise, the mechine did not stop st all. I can't quickly adapted to that and fell down once again. Very embarrassed. Nevertheless, it tells me that, I should watch out at the end of the journey instead of treating it lightly. It is more important to me than "never give up" at this stage. So, though hurt on my knees, I did appreciate it. That's why I love for running. You can learn a lot from it if u think over.
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Owl

Happy ending of thesis oral exam. I try to reset my biothythm. I should go to bed earlier and get up earlier to keep a more healthy life style. However, I should say that it is hard. Yes. I can get up earlier by go to bed earlier. That's what I did these days. In fact, I slept longer time than before, but after coming to workstation I felt sleepy and can not concentrate on the task. May be I am a owl. Or may be I can only concentrate on sth in a strenuous situation. But the truth is that I was more active when the clock strike mid-night. It seems that I am making excuse for geting up late at the morning.

A lot of work to be done. It'd better I start right now otherwise it will be another tough period for me.

To finish my thesis which gets the priority. To take Bloomberg training courses. These are what I'd like to do recently.
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Wander

Thesis oral exam is over. I feel relax now. However, these days I just don't like to do anything. Headache and it seems that my head is too heavy to hold. I am suffering painful eyes. How come I am much more tired than last two weeks when I have less time to rest and worked long hours. Is it because that I have to be busy to keep myself healthy and full of energy? May be and may not be. I am not sure. But definitely, I don't like this kind of feeling. Exhausted and blank in my mind. That's too bad. I think that is the side-effect of long-period tensive work. A lot of work has to be done. I'd better to figure out the agenda.

Life is a journey. Enjoy everyday you have not matter what you do.

Today is Mothers' Day. I miss my mother awfully though I called her last night. I don't know why I always feel homesick. May be I am too fond ofs home. May be it is just because that home is my port. Anyway, home adds fuel to my journey.
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tired today

I am so tired today. I moved to the new department yesterday and do the clearing this morning. There is not aircondition in our room though we ezch have a fan but it is still too hot to me. I wake up because of too hot at mid-night and early this morning I can not fell asleep and get up at about 7am. After having breakfast, I stat to do the clearing. Finally, I got the job done. This afternoon I went to toastermasters meeting. After the meeting, one of the club member asked me why I was looking so tired, he found that even the evaluator evaluated me I didn't have a good response.
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After Thesis Presentation

Thesis oral exam is over. I am so relax now though the thesis has not finished yet. During last two month I was in a very tense state, especially last 10 days. I even can not feel asleep before 2 o'clock at the monring. Cleaning the data, tiresome job. Last Sat. I went to bed at about 6am and get up about 10:30 and looked for a room to move in. Last fews day, nightmares every night all about my thesis. One night I dreamed that Prof. Hong come here to visit SMU and he would like to sit in presentation. However, due to his travel schedule he will leave soon which means that my presentation will be brought forward. My God! I even fear that I can not finish it before deadline. Then I waked up.

Every day work hard, small mistakes were found again and agian in the data then I have to rerun the regression and summarize the results. I should say that these days, I was not at a good mood.

Here I would like to say thank you to some person who help me a lot during these tough period. First is ABC. He helps me a lot during past year. Not just the lecture but also try to help set up my confidence. Second, I would like to thank you to Prof. Lin. Every time I don't how to go on and how to interpret my results I resorted to him and he replied very soon. Without his help I can not achieve this step. Then, I would like to say thank you to Prof. Wu. At the end of March, just before he went to US. He talked me about my thesis after that I finanlly decided the exact topic to zoom into. And yesterday afternoon, I was so worry about my presentation today. He let me to present to him first. He asked a few questions and how I have to change my slides. Also, he asked me to prepare for what the exminer may ask. His feedback made me relax and I get the confidence. Then, I would like to say thank you to Yen Teik. He is always very helpful. Also Jerry helped me a lot. YingKui gave me the CDS data which he downloaded day and night. I can not thank him more. ....... The list is too long. I can not finish it. I would like to go back to my new place now and then enjoy the moive and tmr keep on running.

Struggling!
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找房子

虽然Thesis还没做好，而present的时间逼近，我还是要来这里写写。hostel的到期在即，接到了通知。续约，太贵了，就睡觉的地方，S$420/M,还是四人间公共浴室的。不能再在那里住了，找房子，这正是累人的事，忙了一整天，终于搞定了。

昨天早上11点多开始找的，一直到今天凌晨才搞定。回到宿舍，和shopping感叹一天走遍了新加坡。

早上，不中午（哈哈，很难有早上可言了:-）），吃完饭就从hostel一路走来，绕了一圈没找到，回到workstation上网找，打了n个电话。有些是中介就免谈，有些只能住一人。后来约了一个在gaylong 29 lane的，听说Gaylong是红灯区，但是29巷还是里红灯区比较远的，这也意味着离学校更远一点，我觉得是挺远的，习惯住得近些。房子不是满意，$600有点贵，房间很小，至少我认为很小，压抑，都是学生，但是比较乱，也比较赃。很糗的是，因为前一天睡得太少了，我脑袋比较晕，在去之前，有人给我打电话，问我是不是要去看房，我说是，现在就过去，到了MRT就给她在打电话说我现在过去，叫她到MRT入口等我，她说没问题。在挂电话之前她重复了她登的地方。挂了电话，马上意识到不对，我们坐的事相反方向的MRT，去的不是哪个地方，而给我打电话的是前天晚上约的一个小女孩，中午有给她打电话说不去了，因为我们需要两个人住（有可能我打错了电话，和另一个人说了，因为前一天打了好几个，我只能排除其中一个，晕）。赶快发条短信和她说，结果她已经在那里等了，非常非常对不起那个小女孩。下了MRT,不知道往哪走，就打电话。我又不知道那个电话号码是对的了。再晕。排除了两个，在挑一个时间差不多了。接通之后，问了一下是不是在gaylong 29 lane有房子出租，对方肯定了。
“能不能来接我们一下，我们现在到了MRT了。”
“你们是要看哪里的房子？”
“........啊！？又错了吗？”
“你是不是中介？”
“是。”
“哦，那打错了，不好意思，谢谢！”
崩溃……
再打，这次对了，按照她的指示，走了一段。可是真的脑袋存不了东西，我没有记全所有的路线方向，找到了一个她说的地方，看到了观音庙，于是再打电话说到了观音庙，能不能来接我们一下。她很快答应了，可是怎么这么久还没到呢？应该是蛮近的了。累死了。后来终于接到她的电话说是下来没有看到我们。
汗~又走错了。
说了半天还是不知道往哪走，干脆就在路口等。再过了一会，来电话说，一个男生现在过来接我们。10分钟后，终于找到了。佩服我自己怎么这么厉害~~

看了那里回来已经是晚上了，继续找，看到了一处挺近的房子，打电话说是可以去看房子，还有附近的另一个地方，一个只能10点之后看房子，于是一个9点半一个10点。等吧。

看不进书，整理一下数据的小错误，时间就指向了9点，出发。

上了MRT shopping给我讲她刚在看的一部电影。结果，呵呵``~~做过站了，停下来专心一点，下一站赶快下来，等下一班的车，结果15分钟，真的是足够了（刚和那人说15分钟到ICA门口接我们，shopping说5分钟，我就又改口，这下是有了15分钟了）。

可是我们到了之后，没见到人，打电话一直占线。10分钟左右终于等到了。饶了好打一圈到了，结果发现怎么走到了离我们住的Hostel很近，在Musdafa的另一个方向。倒掉~~

房间很大，我喜欢，可是太吵了，也不是很干净。又不确定什么时候能住，转战下一家，又要绕回去。怎么走？晚上，没有什么方向感但是我还是顺利的走回了ICA，打了好久的电话，按照那人的指示过桥到另一边，走着走着不大对劲，再打电话。说是过的小桥不是大桥。:`|)几经波折，终于找到了，交通很方便，很多bus经过，MRT也近，bars也很很近，吃饭什么的很方便。房间打扫得满干静的，虽说我觉得有点小，但是也不能要求太高。谈妥了已经是12：30没有了bus回去。本想回workstation的，笔记本放着没关，但是疲惫了一天还是放弃了，打的回家。

这下可好了，坐在车里凉快了，舒服了。可是突然界的不对劲，这好像不是回宿舍的路啊，好像是相反的方向，怎么还会经过海底的路？
问师机知不知道路，他很肯定地说没错过去就是了。可我怎么都觉得不对，开始担心，师机好像看出了我的担心说，没关系，你们不用担心钱的问题，我不会给你们算那么多的，你们很急吗？

“有点晚了。”
"对不起，我尽快载到。"

出了海底的路，怎么到了Ang Mo Kio？ 这已经不是市区了，越走越远了。紧张了。师机还是很肯定，道歉还再次强调不用担心钱的问题。

再过一会，怎么到了机场附近，这不是更远了，两边是工地。天啊！不会吧，我这下更紧张了，一旁的shopping累得有气无力的，我就更是提高警惕。有过了好久，看到了BoonKeng。
嗯~ 近了下一站就是，可是，又转到哪了？怎么还没到？
啊！发现有回到了Bugis,回到了学校，这下放心了，知道怎么走了，告诉师机。
师机一直道歉，还说他两三天没上路了，不用担心，他不会按表算钱的。1点多，终于到了我们的门口。师机一直在道歉，说给他$5就可以了（表可是$20好几了。）给了钱，和师机说谢谢！

终于安全回来了。新加坡很安全，所以凌晨我一个人走回宿舍也不是怎么害怕虽说小印度比较赃。但是昨晚刚开始我的心跳得厉害，第一次这么害怕，不像一旁的shopping。不过还是证明了新加坡这地方还是不错的。哈哈~~

写了这么多，也要开始干活了，要不接下去真不能睡觉了。

Fighting!!!
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